The High Kulture of the Kardashians

I know you’ve all been waiting for my take on the wedding of Kim Kardashian and Kenny West.  How will that affect you and me?  A person has to wonder.  What will become of Kimye, whom I think is the brother and/or sister of the bride and/or groom?  S/he is mentioned a lot in the articles.

I’ve been told that the groom’s name is actually “Kanye”, but I think that’s a mistake.  He looks more like a Kenny to me.  It’s not really easy to tell much from my reading of the situation, which, I admit, is confined to headlines only.  Apparently, Kenny, or “Kanye” is in the entertainment business in some respect, but it is not clear what he does.  I know it involves wearing a white dinner jacket and, sometimes, sunglasses.

The bride however is much less of a cipher.  First, we know her wedding dress was stunning, as expected, because of the headline I read about it in The Huffington Post.  For those of you who are not familiar with “HuffPo”, you should check it out.  It started out as a blog about politics, society and culture, but it was acquired by AOL, the company that sent you all those discs in the 90’s. Since then, it has been giving US, People and OK   magazines a real run for the money.  The only thing the print rags are still ahead on is printing cover headlines in yellow.  HuffPo is a “tech” , “new media” kind of web site so I’m sure they’ll figure the color thing out soon.

Also, they have really specialized coverage like “Step Daughter of Divorced, Gluten Intolerant, Malaysian Yoga Instructor”.  That’s not an article.  That’s an actual section of HuffPo.  They run articles related to that topic.  Sometimes they have to stretch a little to get enough content, but you can always find the connecting thread. They have very specialized sections.

Anyway, HuffPo says the dress is stunning.  The bride is famous for a bunch of things I’m not really aware of except that she is considered to be attractive by some subjective standard that is widely shared by article-writers.  Her hair is dark in color and she has what my mother called an “ample bosom.”

I know her best as the daughter of Robert Kardashian, a lawyer who was visibly shaken when his client, Mr. O.J. Simpson of Bel Air, was found not guilty by reason of not being able to fit his hand into a misshapen glove with dried blood all over it.  The jury really had no choice.   Let me be clear, Mrs. Kenny West had nothing to do with these grisly murders or the trial as she was only a little girl at the time.  Later, her mom married a man who had been on a Wheaties box.

Kim has several siblings, although it is not clear what the gender is from their names.  They are Chloe, Kimye, Lamar, Odom, Bruce and Brody.  Her step father, who is divorced from her mother, is named Kris or Chris or Mrs. Jenner.  They are all famous and play a TV  version of themselves, kind of like the Ozzie and Harriet Show, but with more cleavage and a lot of expensive clothes.

Kim has trademarked the platform butt and will soon be marketing a drone landing pad version.